After I posted tonight, my oldest son (who made this site blog ready and stays on top of the operational pieces) and I had an exchange by text. After he gave feedback and asked a question, I asked him to turn comments on.
There was no epiphany as to my public forum phobia. At the end of my conversation with Geoff, I just decided, “Why not? Let’s see what happens.”
A funny-odd thing then happened … no anxiety spike.
(My responses to the comments will be another thing altogether, but I’m mostly ready to skin my knees in that space.)
More weight off my shoulders. Finally, I saw how I was letting anxiety about comments yank me around. This is in no way a proclamation or recommendation that anxiety should be ignored. Anxiety is a real thing in this world. As are panic attacks. These topics and experiences are worthy of much respectful attention. I’ve enormous compassion for every attack of anxiety and panic I, or anyone else, will experience in the future.
But for me now, in this moment, I’m stepping outside the wall of anxiety about comments I’ve hid behind.