Ever waited so long to do something so important to you, that you tremble in fear?
For me, this is that moment.
Before I begin, I’d like you to meet a crowd of doubts that I’ve carried as long as I can remember. On second thought, I’ll summarize the crowd of doubts on a scale of 1-10. My number is between 17 and 493, depending on the narrative my head is spinning.
It started when I was around 4 years old. Not knowing how to write any letters, I was tormented to be a writer so I made wavy lines in varying degrees to give the appearance of a story. I pushed against sadness that tore at my whole self because I was pretending to write. I wanted to write for real. I needed to write.
That ache of, “can’t,” became a burning anxiety and was transferred onto everything I’ve written since.
A very wise man suggested I use a trick he learned from the book, “Atomic Habits.” If I don’t butcher the idea, it is akin to: take 2 minutes to do the new habit, and at the end of the 2 minutes declare (I’ll verify detail accuracy, if verbally or written later), “this is me.”
Hello to a new incarnation. For …
… THIS IS ME.